Sandra's

Yucky news... here we go!

There are these two girls that I thought were my friends. But I find it harder and harder to convince myself that it's true. I will admit that they always let me know whats going on, but when I consistently say that I am not aloud to do such things they seem unfazed and practically ok with out my company week after week. I saw them once two weeks ago and one of them seemed very happy and the other barely noticed I was there, but that was ok, she seemed stressed, plus we never were that close, but now the cheerful one seems to be ignoring me... I tried to joke with her yesterday, but she wouldn't have it. (I really needed that cheering up too!) but nothing! not a giggle, not even an inflection in her voice! I told her I wouldn't be able to make it to their spring break plans because of my situation and all she said... "oh" THAT WAS IT! no, awh, I'm sorry Nicole, maybe next time, nothing! DO YOU CARE? Are you some how happy that I cant make it!?! I never get the feeling from them that they do care what goes on in my life... I did mention going to eat somewhere before they go off and do what I cant, but neither of them have said anything about it.

Do I need these people in my life? When they cause more stress that joy? Is it maybe the time in our live that its too stressful to care about other people? Maybe I am over reacting, I do know that I feel hurt. And I wish that they would realize that.

Just to clarify: I do want to try and be friends with these girls, they do mean a lot to me and I wouldn't want to lose them to something like this. I just wish that they would care, if only by laughing at a joke... the small things mean more to me than it seems...